Author: cosmosusie

breathing novels

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we’re living a breathing novel/ unexpected cliffhangers/ led by the next chapter/ where we meet new strangers

inevitably the dire question/ of when will it all just end/ and yet we hope for more stories/ and ask for a series our dreams penned

in this life we have authored/ each of us flips through pages/ and burn through all the bad ones/ as well as dog-ear the best ages

by the end of mine, i flip back/ onto the dedication/ i think to the earth and its people/ and thank them for their navigation

graduation

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gowns on, caps off/ our tassels fly through the air/ i look around and smile/ at this moment we share

forever i will remember/ looking back in math class/ and laughing with my friends/ just to look out at the grass

there i’d see the lunch tables/ filled to the brim/ students roam the courtyard/ where we all learned to swim

because in this school of fish/ we were once all minnows/ together we grew/ and now, we dress in stoles

you and i

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romanticize holding hands and sleeping over/ that’s reserved for you and you alone/ no nonsense over the thought of others/ you and i will carve our names into stone

i’d like to forget everybody else/ the entire world can disappear/ and i couldn’t blink twice or turn away/ i’d like to let them all be in fear

we won’t give two fucks about anyone/ after all, we’re in too deep/ and there’s no way out but forward/ so we might as well go down in a leap

time passes me by

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everything is all so green/ i paint the world in various shades/ the hues bounce around the atmosphere/ from the oak trees to the grass blades

the pages in my book flip/ the wind shuffles them around/ the aroma flits up to my nose/ from where i lay on the ground

my steeping tea cools in the air/ the steam is hit by the crisp sky/ i imagine a kite drifting above/ and read on to the next line

lifeless

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i stand on the brink of this life/ either floating or falling/ i step closer to the edge/ i need to stop stalling

not everything is mine/ even as i window shop/ for a new life to enjoy/ as mine’s nearing to the final stop

i walk by the glass of the stores/ and yearn the possibility/ yet i see my reflection/ a reminder of my captivity

my fingers linger along each front/ though i never open a door/ for my sake or theirs i remain/ lifeless at my core

clouds and skies

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the sunlight pours in after the moon/ my windows are an open, endless void/ the wind floats on through to me/ i can imagine the asteroids

the music dances in my ears/ each beat is a tap and a twirl/ each note is a ribbon floating in the air/ i wear each lyric like pearls

the smell of cinnamon bursts on in/ i wrinkle my nose in delight/ my eyes, green and wide and awake/ for this cloud i’m on is light

nightmare

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Exhalation

Inhalation

If only you’ve seen

what I’ve seen

when i close

my eyes

the swipes of nightmares

of red streaks soaking

down the wall

and seeping

into the mirror

that i stand before

i look across the dark slate

and see my reflection

staring back

with a bruised soul

and realize

the potential

to fail

and feel the pain

and welcome the pain

this hunger

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this hunger eats me alive/ the hunger of my addiction/ to step up once again and check/ for this old scale’s jurisdiction

I scratch at my twisted waist/ and the hips with too many dips/ i suck in my ribs and my gut/ my lungs, a moment before rips

my nails are chewed up and dead/ as are the thoughts that i let roam/ i continue to stare and hope to win/ against the mirror that turns to stone

this hunger eats me alive/ though my consumption is not fed/ i wonder how long i can make it/ it’s been days without so little as bread

unwell

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cold metal tastes like tinted ice/ eroding between my gnashed teeth/ i bleed the metallic scent of it/ the sharp edge of the past week

it hits me like the damp cold/ as the wind whips my face/ i turn red and raw/ and wish this drink were laced

i scream in the steaming shower/ and drown in the pouring water/ i turn it to cold just to shiver/ and have a reason to want slaughter

i slaughter my dreams of roses/ and crush them with a deeper red/ i rip out my veins with my nails/ all in the dark of my bed

flowers, bees, trees, water

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You are all mine/ the flowers and the bees/ the petals and the stripes/ in the dirt and in the trees

You are all mine/ I’m tired of keeping track/ of everybody who stares/ for now, they face my back

You are all mine/ I need you to reel me in/ to pull me up from the water/ so i can stop drowning