Tag: anger

this temper of mine

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i’m painfully truthful when i need to shut up/ i run my mouth and my temper keeps the pace/ i slam doors when i’m mad, but i always have/ anger is an old friend of mine, i’ve never known grace

i drive to calm myself yet yearn to veer right/ into the ditch, up and over/ i back peddle to apologize and make things worse/ what can i say, i’m not a good driver

anger for you, anger at me/ it all bleeds together, one and the same/ i wait to see when you finally tire/ i’m aware i’m the one to blame

my nails are wrangled and chewed/ fists in my hair, threatening to rip it all out/ breathe for a second but i can’t seem to find the air/ i suffocate, choke on my own account

don’t you see, i’m not a nice person/ i’m reminded every time i hear a door close/ i broke the cross on my wall when i was nine/ i’m consistent and everybody knows

Growth

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my vision is blackening/ my head is floating in the air/ waiting to be sunk down/ nobody is here to care

catch me as i’m falling/ i ask, scream, shout/ the only response is the wind/ i crash no doubt

I wrote this at a time when I hurt so much but couldn’t let you know because you were to blame. You were hurting me to the point of me screaming in the shower and pulling out my hair. Since ceasing all communication, I’ve begun to sing in the shower and love myself more than you ever could. You taught me about judgment through your faulty actions, so I took that and learned to stop judging so harshly. I’ve grown so much more without you, and I thank god for that. If all I need is to burn what’s left of you, then so be it because I deserve to be able to. I’ve learned to love so much more deeply and live without doubting myself since I’ve stopped talking to you. I’ve finally stopped screaming and crying and pulling. I’ve finally been truly happy.

The Lifespan of a Book

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I said I was done burning your things/ But that was until I found a book/ The orange and pink cover is yours/ I’ve just given it a blackened new look

I really hope you don’t mind/ You can have it back if you want/ It was left behind in my room/ Staring at me as if to taunt

There were some minor annotations/ In chapters I’d rather not discuss/ I can send you the address/ Before I turn the rest of it to dust