Tag: love

blankets on the beach

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the same blood that keeps me warm rushes to my face/ yet i’m cold while flushed and my balance is off/ i tip and i turn and i tumble to the floor/ the blood in my veins cuts me off to a cough

here you are and there she is/ your jacket, my arm, a blanket on the beach/ we’re so intertwined and i’m knotted all over/ a silent moment where i’m forced to speak

no rush of anger, yet swift and steady upset arises/ i trip over the imaginary lines we all drew/ the nerves in my body stand on end/ axed to stubs, were my words misconstrued?

night terrors

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every time i drive i wonder what it would be like to lose control/ i dream my brakes don’t work and i cannot stop/ i roll and roll and roll into traffic/ i wake up in sweat and on and on my head throbs

i dream i dance and kiss my way into the night/ i’m critiqued and i’m reprimanded but i dance/ i wear feathers of every color that float over me/ until it becomes a nightmare where i’m wrinkled and missed all my chances

my brakes slam and there are lights behind me/ thrust through the windshield, i’m floating in the air/ it’s the lightest i’ve felt in a while despite what lies ahead/ smashed into the ground, are my lungs even there?

startled awake, i’ve done this before/ my dreams twist and they tangle till they rot/ i relive every moment to discern which reality is certain/ which truths are familiar and which are not

i come in a plastic box

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am i a woman or am i a doll/ this porcelain is bumped and cracked/ reddened and roughly hewn/ the architect seems to have hammered and have hacked

shatter me to pieces and sew me back up/ implant a seed the color of grass/ pop in a button that will shine in the dark/ all the worn edges will chatter and clash

weather me down, leave me in the rain/ warm me back up all toasted and tame/ i break and i shatter, the outside seeps in/ i’m just a doll, but you’re just the same

rain in the air

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november air crisp and flaky/ a month of love and a season of tears/ i wish you well yet hold on tight/ i hear the night makes people come near

i burn you down yet i catch fire/ the winter snow keeps you from dying/ is it seasonal depression or heartbreak all around/ i’d say the former, but i’d be lying

happy fall, love

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half a decade has passed since i pined for you/ i whispered your name into my pillow case/ i envied your friends who knew you like i never did/ learning to love you made me forget all grace

i loved you from afar until you let me love you up close/ i wake up mingled in your smell and in your sheets/ you wake up and kiss my forehead each day/ each day, month, and year with you goes by in a blink

people you can’t throw out of your life.

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who teaches us how to hate? where do we learn it from? i hate and i hate and i cry. i’m so sick of crying.

i’m here and she’s there and i hate this. i know nothing is happening but i have tears down my cheeks.

i hate her and i hate her questions and i hate her texts. i hate her texts to him and all her kind words.

i cry because i hate her so much and there’s nothing i can do.

pictures pop up and there she is smiling and it drives me insane. i lie to myself and say it’s all okay, it’s fine.

i never knew hate until i knew her.

xoxo

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hang me the moon and bring me flowers/ stay up with me until midnight/ laugh until we cry over a stupid phone call/ tuck me into your arms and kiss me goodnight

in return i’ll write you sonnets and stories/ i’ll send you letters detailing my love/ i’ll sing to you in the car and through the house/ i’d praise you more than the god up above

give me your all, give me your soul/ you already have mine but that you know.

goodbye little fosters:(

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i kneel in a pew and plead with god/ i’ve cradled death in my hands/ i knew his shudder before he entered/ his will stronger than god’s demands

i kneeled until i could collapse/ i offered up all but my judgement day/ death deflates you until you can’t stand/ so i stay kneeling with nothing more to say

instead i pray there’s a place in the dark/ i’d like to see them all again/ the precious are too undeserving of this life/ threatened with one month until their end

hey, you:)

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in a world of people, i’ve found you/ a curly haired-boy with a tan you deny/ in a world of people, i always come back to you/a curly-haired boy with a love we define

i love you so from here and past arkansas/ i could write and write and there’d never be too many words/ you’re worth so much more than a simple poem/ it’s you and me until we’re buried beneath this earth

we’ve seen the river, the seas, and the mountains/ we’ve seen the beaches and the stars/ and yet my favorite place remains by your side/ i’m sided with fate and your my lucky tarot card

moments you never forget

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a girl in middle school showed me her wrists/ the day she told me it was all my fault/ i’ll never forget how i felt there standing/ like i was the razor who did the assault

i called an old friend a year after she moved/ it’s been a while, how has everything been?/ she sent me a photo and all i saw was blood/ i could hardly discern her carved out skin

in high school i had a best friend of my own/ one month it progressed from vomit to scissors/ i’ll never erase that damn video call/ how had i missed all of her triggers?

am i the problem in all of my friends?/ what drives them to hurt so much so hard?/ am i the razor they never expected?/ since when have i been the fated glass shard?

these are moments in your life you never forget/ moments you rethink in the quietest of spaces/ moments you rethink when it’s so loud you could drown/ these are moments your memory never replaces