Tag: summer

happy birthday to me, a love letter to you

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salted caramel and good morning calls/ another year of being loved by them all/ summer heat and clear skies above/ twenty-two years of life greets me as the sun rises tall

thousands of years have seen this day/ how lucky we are to be here together/ promise to sing me happy birthday each year?/ your love always brings me such great pleasure

twenty-two years of me and i’ve shared seven with you/ here’s to forever more of this life I’ve built/ a celebration of me is a reminder of you/ so here’s to another year around this earth’s tilt

I love you, I miss you

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like a homesick child, I run away/ to a land-locked place of trees and granite/ i spend the days doing gloriously nothing/ and relearn to love the things I take for granted

but through it all i miss him and long to return/ a lesson learned and a plane ticket home/ i’m ready to see my darling lover and our cats/ i feel this yearning in my very bones

I’d forgotten how to live in the present time/ I’d lingered too far away from my place/ But I’ve found my tether and he’s 800 miles away/ So bring me aboard and promise me no delays

I dream of my return to him each night/ a morning of excitement and nerves/ I never can be away from him for long/ For I love him and he is mine in every measure

i’m calling, you’re declining

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I didn’t know you growing up/ and you still don’t know me/ all of the parts of me that screw up our phone calls/ they stay up lonely each night while you dream

what secrets are you keeping?/ who’s holding onto them now?/ I don’t think I’ll ever have another secret/ I don’t have a keeper here anyhow.

The telephone lines have been silent these days/ who worse to keep me company than myself/ I find myself staring at the fan blades/ wondering where all my good thoughts dwell

I’m overly self-conscious and yet it’s not enough/ I have too many priorities and yet I do nothing/ I think about how alone I’ve become/ why am i not growing?

Driving my car down the road

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Each morning I tiptoe out as the sun peaks over the highway

I kiss each creature in my room goodbye and save the last for you

My car takes the route we’ve worn into the tires this summer

What will I remember of these days in a year or two?

A summer of early mornings and a frequent flyer at the coffee shop

A summer of moving and spending spare minutes in an empty room

A summer of a growing reading list and upcoming expectations

Or a summer where all of my friends have left by June

I count the days of the season by the miles on my car

Everyone asks me to use those miles to visit their new lives

The creatures in my room have always been content with me here

Maybe I’ll remember this summer by the lack of long drives

My home away from home

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This place is everything that French vanilla smells like/ it’s sun streaming through the cranberry glass on the windowsill/ it’s the perfumed soaps I look for every visit/ it’s a place frozen in my memory that I know won’t always be still

The foothills that roll from each city to the one with your home/ I could map out this town without any direction/ I’m afraid for the day that I won’t need to navigate it anymore/ for the day that I no longer turn to you for my easy vacations

Childhood memories float from frames hung in the hall/ the postcard on the fridge I wrote to you from afar/ the stuffed animal we’ve been hiding from you for years/ the pool room we spent the last decade washing the dogs in seems so far

I see this place in every mug and it’s coffee grounds/ each antique store I enter I hear your words of advice/ never start a collection, though your china cabinets are filled/ and I see it especially in each roll of my Yahtzee dice

You warned me not to age though it’s inevitable/ I refuse to believe that this place will never not be yours/ for now it’s where I learned to swim and play cards/ a place where love is free and life is pure

hey, you:)

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in a world of people, i’ve found you/ a curly haired-boy with a tan you deny/ in a world of people, i always come back to you/a curly-haired boy with a love we define

i love you so from here and past arkansas/ i could write and write and there’d never be too many words/ you’re worth so much more than a simple poem/ it’s you and me until we’re buried beneath this earth

we’ve seen the river, the seas, and the mountains/ we’ve seen the beaches and the stars/ and yet my favorite place remains by your side/ i’m sided with fate and your my lucky tarot card

moments you never forget

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a girl in middle school showed me her wrists/ the day she told me it was all my fault/ i’ll never forget how i felt there standing/ like i was the razor who did the assault

i called an old friend a year after she moved/ it’s been a while, how has everything been?/ she sent me a photo and all i saw was blood/ i could hardly discern her carved out skin

in high school i had a best friend of my own/ one month it progressed from vomit to scissors/ i’ll never erase that damn video call/ how had i missed all of her triggers?

am i the problem in all of my friends?/ what drives them to hurt so much so hard?/ am i the razor they never expected?/ since when have i been the fated glass shard?

these are moments in your life you never forget/ moments you rethink in the quietest of spaces/ moments you rethink when it’s so loud you could drown/ these are moments your memory never replaces

tortured love

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the feminine touch is soft as a feather/ with an undercurrent of controlled power/ they’re swift yet always gentle/ velvety as a petal on a flower

men are the rushing of streams/ they’re a gust of wind that rushes your hair/ delicate features of a sturdy figure/ sharp minds beneath their stares

a woman on my left and a man on my right/ the whisper of a touch trails my skin/ a rough callus creates a sweet friction/ electricity through my blood and everywhere within

i beg for mercy but never a swift death/ play it out slow like torture/ make me writhe against the wall and under the sheets/ sweet relief flows through me like water

a woman on my left and a man on my right/ the lick of an ear and a taste of the neck/ who is who, it’s all just skin/ as long as they promise to leave me a wreck

to stay in or out

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being queer has never been a choice of mine/ a friend in high school once weaponized that against me/ she was the first friend i ever came out to/ i stopped telling people until it all became a dream

there’s a girl in college i wouldn’t call a friend/ she told me i needed to be intimate with a girl/ i needed to be intimate with a girl to be considered queer/ it’s too bad that all of my friends agreed with her words

i’ve grown up with people who swear their support/ i’ve grown up with people who swear they are proud/ i’ve grown and i’ve grown and i still don’t feel as tall as them/ i grow more small and they grow more loud

i wish people would stop pressuring me to choose a side/ i’m not enough for anyone and i’m too much for me/ i’m stuck being only half of what they want/ i hate the way being out makes me seen