Tag: friend

i am you, you are me

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water drips from the sky and runs down the street/ the ground cracks open, water slides on through/ i fall into the stream, fall from the ground/ dirt, sludge, and myself all melted, a deserving stew

i’m adrift in the air with only wind for company/ i melt among the clouds with only the sun to blame/ chained to the ground by the roots of a tree/ burning through everyone, i’m aflame

what’s the difference in our dna/ tell me we’re distinct and make me believe it/ who am i if not you/ tear me apart, tell me it’s not a skit

what. ever. major. loser.

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i’m not a loyal friend to anybody but a few/ i could watch everyone else walk out the door and simply wave/ i wouldn’t waste my time with false tears/ i’d feel the weight lessen from all the hate they gave

i’d laugh and i’d dance and it would all be fine/ a party for just me without friends i don’t like/ i’m always the nice one, always the forgiver/ forgive and forget but i remember all your bites

i’m no soft-hearted, fairytale lover/ i’ve got a hit list and they’re all on it/ i doubt he’d even stop me when i walk up to your door/ i’d rather knock and be forever a misfit

where’d all the fun times go?/ all our late movie nights and midnight swims?/ until you recall the long car rides without me/ and all the conversations that got under my skin

a friend group by force and i break free/ is it a goodbye if you never liked me?/ the small comments and shared looks between you all/ where my only role was to sit and be pretty

tortured love

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the feminine touch is soft as a feather/ with an undercurrent of controlled power/ they’re swift yet always gentle/ velvety as a petal on a flower

men are the rushing of streams/ they’re a gust of wind that rushes your hair/ delicate features of a sturdy figure/ sharp minds beneath their stares

a woman on my left and a man on my right/ the whisper of a touch trails my skin/ a rough callus creates a sweet friction/ electricity through my blood and everywhere within

i beg for mercy but never a swift death/ play it out slow like torture/ make me writhe against the wall and under the sheets/ sweet relief flows through me like water

a woman on my left and a man on my right/ the lick of an ear and a taste of the neck/ who is who, it’s all just skin/ as long as they promise to leave me a wreck

to stay in or out

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being queer has never been a choice of mine/ a friend in high school once weaponized that against me/ she was the first friend i ever came out to/ i stopped telling people until it all became a dream

there’s a girl in college i wouldn’t call a friend/ she told me i needed to be intimate with a girl/ i needed to be intimate with a girl to be considered queer/ it’s too bad that all of my friends agreed with her words

i’ve grown up with people who swear their support/ i’ve grown up with people who swear they are proud/ i’ve grown and i’ve grown and i still don’t feel as tall as them/ i grow more small and they grow more loud

i wish people would stop pressuring me to choose a side/ i’m not enough for anyone and i’m too much for me/ i’m stuck being only half of what they want/ i hate the way being out makes me seen

thank you, god.

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every time we speak i breath easy/ every time we speak i lose my breath/ only god knows what lure you hold/ but we’re entwined together until death

i miss you like i miss myself/ i cross a bridge and see you by my side/ you hover like my own guardian angel/ you don’t know it but you’re still my guide

i don’t know if i believe in destined stars/ but if i did you’d be the brightest/ just so i can look up to always find you there/ even through the loud and especially through the quiet

if god isn’t real then how did i find you?/ you know my best and you know my worst/ he gave me a miracle i struggle to confront/ give me time, i’m scared to go in reverse

the romantization of holding hands

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Looking at the street ahead/ i see the life of flashing lights/ the taillights of incomprehension/ of how much i need these nights

my lifeline sits to the left/ one hand on the wheel/ the other intertwined with mine/ whose heart will he steal?

i firmly believe in soulmates/ and that we are/ i firmly believe in elation/ brought to us by our stars

the romanization of holding hands/ seems uncomparable to all of earth/ as do all the limits set/ for the speed we take each curve

host no more

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you text and forget i’m a human being too/ you barely text and forget i’m here/ it’s a back and forth i wish for no more/ i’m telling you this and laying myself bare

i cannot proceed in this life of mine/ i put it all before me without thought/ i’d put you behind me if it meant freedom/ i’d do it all if i wasn’t afraid of being caught

you’re present but never around/ you hide me and are afraid to be seen/ i’ve found you and i figured it out/ i’ve seen through your precious machine

you choose to read but never write/ you’ve become a whisper of a ghost/ you come around when it’s convenient/ but i’m just too tired to play host

dark nights

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hello to those who sit in the dark/ those who blink up at the ceiling/ those who fumble next to them/ those searching for all that the dark is concealing

you’re there now and i’m there later/ i’m there before and you’re floating around/ we dance and we stumble/ and embrace the night that surrounds

damnation and hell

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i’ve always known where i stood/ i’ve always just lived and just been/ but who am i now?/ who am i now with all of this sin

i could speak in hymnals and betrayals/ i could write with grace and reverence/ i destroy all my bibles and all of my words/ to rid myself of this religious evidence

i used to sit in the pews each sunday/ i used to pray even through my doubt/ but no one is answering/ my prayers alone feed into this drought

i asked for you and you never knew/ i asked for a friend but did i receive?/ i go back each week just to kneel/ i close my eyes and wish to believe

i am the persona of damnation/ and yet i look for a guardian angel/ is that who you are to me now?/ will you be my salvation?

who am i now to you/ in all of the pillars of hell?/ do i reside there for you/ or am i up where the clouds swell?

dear god i wish now/ why am i here and where are you/ dear god i used to believe/ but i grew up like you told me to

my last and final words

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i’ve finally started forgetting you/ yet i still want to scream everything i felt/ yell until my throat runs utterly dry/ until my vocal chords start to melt

i’ve burned every picture on my wall/ i’ve written you so many letters to send/ yet i won’t let you try to defend this/ i ripped those words to shreds

all of my paper is filled to the brim/ i’ve called you so many names/ i spelt out every wrong you ever did/ and yet you still won’t take any blame

one phone call and i could be satisfied/ i could cry out all your faults to a tea/ but let you would win at everything?/ god forbid the person to fix you is me

i can’t hate you more than anything/ i won’t give you that ability/ i love so much more in this world/ and i hate you but oh so differently