Tag: friendship

i’m calling, you’re declining

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I didn’t know you growing up/ and you still don’t know me/ all of the parts of me that screw up our phone calls/ they stay up lonely each night while you dream

what secrets are you keeping?/ who’s holding onto them now?/ I don’t think I’ll ever have another secret/ I don’t have a keeper here anyhow.

The telephone lines have been silent these days/ who worse to keep me company than myself/ I find myself staring at the fan blades/ wondering where all my good thoughts dwell

I’m overly self-conscious and yet it’s not enough/ I have too many priorities and yet I do nothing/ I think about how alone I’ve become/ why am i not growing?

Driving my car down the road

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Each morning I tiptoe out as the sun peaks over the highway

I kiss each creature in my room goodbye and save the last for you

My car takes the route we’ve worn into the tires this summer

What will I remember of these days in a year or two?

A summer of early mornings and a frequent flyer at the coffee shop

A summer of moving and spending spare minutes in an empty room

A summer of a growing reading list and upcoming expectations

Or a summer where all of my friends have left by June

I count the days of the season by the miles on my car

Everyone asks me to use those miles to visit their new lives

The creatures in my room have always been content with me here

Maybe I’ll remember this summer by the lack of long drives

i’d rather split a bill

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the cold in this beach front south whips me around/ the car jockeys, my hair flies, and the ocean crashes/ i sit safely inside and watch out my window/ from a wooden coffee shop, where the day slowly passes

i sit inside, warm and full of pastry/ french vanilla to sweeten a bitter coffee/ the table piled high with stacks of homework to read/ music lulls in the air to make a dreary day more than it may seem

i sit and remember a different cafe with company/ a friend to share dessert with and make an afternoon lighter/ another with someone so close to me/ with constant coffee refills just to keep you there a bit longer

here i sit by myself with no one around for miles/ i lost one to the north and the other to distance/ i order baklava for one at a table for two/ a singular mug rests next to me with no bills to split

i long for noise despite the music and chatter/ the rain outside offers no companion I’d like/ there’s not much to be said for she who sits alone/ and everything for those with someone in whom to confide

here’s to the new year

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i step into the new year wearing the same clothes/ i hold onto the hands of my friends as i go/ i hold onto my love and look back to smile/ and finally i look forward to see how we’ll all grow

i wish you all a year of love and a year of life/ honest friendship and kindness to yourselves/ for me i wish for a seed of faith/ something to root and remain in good health

goodnight and good year to all who browse/ step through to this year with an open soul/ to be better is to change and to find acceptance/ to find a version that is kind and whole

New Yorker

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Each route we have fallen on together/ each step walked beside the river/ late night ice cream runs and firetrucks/ swapping cookie recipes during halloween thrillers

as winter comes, we all say our goodbyes/ the hardest ones come after so much hope/ all of the places we swore we would try/ all of the plans we made as December approached

is the future of friendship based on airport destinations?/ I’ll keep you on my calendar if you do the same/ a shared apartment in the middle of Hyde Park/ Until then, we’re not too far away by plane

happy birthday to me :)

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A pile of shoes sit by the front door/ fingerprints layer on the window glass/ a fridge covered in pictures and notes/ a kitchen filled with people and laughs

sisters to throw your birthday parties/ brothers to tease about their trucks/ a freezer filled with ice cream/ a kitchen table that somehow always has crumbs

i love you all like i love apple pie/ my heart is happy and stomach is full/ i count my blessings each time i come home/ each one of you that makes me whole

a summer of friends

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a summer of sand clinging to your legs/ a new friendship to keep you company/ experimental recipes and new hobbies to be found/ a summer of long lost and well spent money

when you close your eyes, who do you picture?/ i see people i love, people i don’t know/ a night under a fort of blankets/ a day in the rain with the friends i chose

i send letters in the mail to those I miss/ a collection of scraps and memories from the best of days/ Happiness is not fleeting, but a moment to recall on/ a series of long car rides and sitting among waves

a summer i will miss and long for when it passes/ friendships that will stay even when the weather turns/ trading a day of sunshine for a night by the fire/ i wonder how i’ve deserved such a world

lonely friendships

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what are friendships if not uneven?/ why are the closest always the furthest away?/ the simplicity of connection is overruled for greed/ you want to leave, so i beg you to stay

loneliness is being the third person there/ it’s sitting alone, surrounded by people/ second-guessing your role in the conversation/ telling yourself the quiet is more peaceful

i offer too much that i don’t want to give away/ i extend my hand for the sake of niceties/ you take it too far and won’t let me go/ i make myself bitter in an attempt to please

i have no tangible evidence for any of this/ i’m perfect on paper, i’m well aware/ i have it all, what else could i need?/ but when i look around, there’s no one else there

this temper of mine

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i’m painfully truthful when i need to shut up/ i run my mouth and my temper keeps the pace/ i slam doors when i’m mad, but i always have/ anger is an old friend of mine, i’ve never known grace

i drive to calm myself yet yearn to veer right/ into the ditch, up and over/ i back peddle to apologize and make things worse/ what can i say, i’m not a good driver

anger for you, anger at me/ it all bleeds together, one and the same/ i wait to see when you finally tire/ i’m aware i’m the one to blame

my nails are wrangled and chewed/ fists in my hair, threatening to rip it all out/ breathe for a second but i can’t seem to find the air/ i suffocate, choke on my own account

don’t you see, i’m not a nice person/ i’m reminded every time i hear a door close/ i broke the cross on my wall when i was nine/ i’m consistent and everybody knows

i am you, you are me

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water drips from the sky and runs down the street/ the ground cracks open, water slides on through/ i fall into the stream, fall from the ground/ dirt, sludge, and myself all melted, a deserving stew

i’m adrift in the air with only wind for company/ i melt among the clouds with only the sun to blame/ chained to the ground by the roots of a tree/ burning through everyone, i’m aflame

what’s the difference in our dna/ tell me we’re distinct and make me believe it/ who am i if not you/ tear me apart, tell me it’s not a skit