Babes, mom. I gotta look cool.
i love you in the mornings/ and i love you in the nights/ i love you in between the sheets/ and i love you standing in the lights
you’re full of soft lines and hard edges/ the curls at the nape of your neck/ the broadness of your shoulders/ all enough to make me a wreck
You’re the only muse to me/ enough to inspire a lifetime/ together we learn to live and to love/ do you promise to be forever mine?
my vision is blackening/ my head is floating in the air/ waiting to be sunk down/ nobody is here to care
catch me as i’m falling/ i ask, scream, shout/ the only response is the wind/ i crash no doubt
I wrote this at a time when I hurt so much but couldn’t let you know because you were to blame. You were hurting me to the point of me screaming in the shower and pulling out my hair. Since ceasing all communication, I’ve begun to sing in the shower and love myself more than you ever could. You taught me about judgment through your faulty actions, so I took that and learned to stop judging so harshly. I’ve grown so much more without you, and I thank god for that. If all I need is to burn what’s left of you, then so be it because I deserve to be able to. I’ve learned to love so much more deeply and live without doubting myself since I’ve stopped talking to you. I’ve finally stopped screaming and crying and pulling. I’ve finally been truly happy.
your bedroom is no longer yours/ it belongs to your childhood/ the photos on the wall are a past you/ along with the friends whose laughs were so good
all your anger has finally faded/ it’s a refreshing kind of peace/ old enemies are now a story to tell/ that part of life has already begun to cease
every promise made has since been forgotten/ either faithfully made or fully broken/ and yet you can’t seem to care or remember/ instead, you collect them all like a token
it’s well past midnight tonight/ i’m sitting criss-cross on my carpet once again/ everything has a tint of nostalgia around me/ i can finally smile at all the memories from then
you are the slope of your nose, darling/ you are the wave of your hair/ you are the curve of your hips/ you are the physical appearances you bare
and yet, you are the IQ of your mind/ you are the quirks of your thoughts/ you are the ups and downs in a day/ you, my dear, are more than a series of snapshots
I wish for the blemishes amidst perfections/ I wish for your touch, it’s much kinder/ you are everything and never nothing/ my love, let me be your reminder
i’ve finally started forgetting you/ yet i still want to scream everything i felt/ yell until my throat runs utterly dry/ until my vocal chords start to melt
i’ve burned every picture on my wall/ i’ve written you so many letters to send/ yet i won’t let you try to defend this/ i ripped those words to shreds
all of my paper is filled to the brim/ i’ve called you so many names/ i spelt out every wrong you ever did/ and yet you still won’t take any blame
one phone call and i could be satisfied/ i could cry out all your faults to a tea/ but let you would win at everything?/ god forbid the person to fix you is me
i can’t hate you more than anything/ i won’t give you that ability/ i love so much more in this world/ and i hate you but oh so differently
summer nights and thick air/ no fireflies, but mosquitoes bite/ yet we kiss away any welts/ along with the thought of morning lights
our hair reflects off the fire/ as mine swings around my shoulders/ our cups sloshing from laughter/ moments couldn’t be any golder
to think august has come/ and crossed the horizon/ i know soon the future will too/ the thought make our chests tighten
for now, it’s you and me/ the ease of summer may fade/ but let’s cherish the moonlight now/ for we are stardust and forever made
romanticize holding hands and sleeping over/ that’s reserved for you and you alone/ no nonsense over the thought of others/ you and i will carve our names into stone
i’d like to forget everybody else/ the entire world can disappear/ and i couldn’t blink twice or turn away/ i’d like to let them all be in fear
we won’t give two fucks about anyone/ after all, we’re in too deep/ and there’s no way out but forward/ so we might as well go down in a leap
everything is all so green/ i paint the world in various shades/ the hues bounce around the atmosphere/ from the oak trees to the grass blades
the pages in my book flip/ the wind shuffles them around/ the aroma flits up to my nose/ from where i lay on the ground
my steeping tea cools in the air/ the steam is hit by the crisp sky/ i imagine a kite drifting above/ and read on to the next line
You are all mine/ the flowers and the bees/ the petals and the stripes/ in the dirt and in the trees
You are all mine/ I’m tired of keeping track/ of everybody who stares/ for now, they face my back
You are all mine/ I need you to reel me in/ to pull me up from the water/ so i can stop drowning
They waved me on over
But we hadn’t looked in months
Not with our eyes connected
But I still lunged at once
We talked and talked
And we laughed and smiled
I was floating the whole day long
Feeling like a little child
–
Here is your daily reminder
Your smile is beautiful
And my fingers ache for your hair
Will you stay a while?
I don’t mean to stare
Or at least for you to catch me
And I get so nervous talking
But I wonder about a ‘we’
I listen to music
And my mind plugs you in
Everything reminds me of you
Where have you been?
Cosmo Susie 