Tag: poet

writing is thinking

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the feeling of being happy is./ music is my process of thinking/ lectures are a tool for daydreams/ drowning is not the same as sinking

i love the concept of reading a book/ a story unlike my own is entirely mine/ anybody can read the same story/ but it’s only the characters and you in those lines

i read and i write and only read and write/ the perspectives that leave me enthralled/ the dynamics keep me up for hours/ the ideas the authors have installed

the ideas that create my own story/ i type and i write and i scribble them down/ i’ve made stories and letters and poems and essays/ meaning more than just their verbs and nouns

i’m no better than a painter with crayola/ my works are no worse than those of the greats/ i take on my work with a humbled ego/ the contradictory is a content weight

web of dreams

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we were in tenth grade sitting together at lunch/ we were in eleventh grade skyping until morning/ we were in twelfth grade tossing up our caps together/ now i wake up each day to you snoring

we grew up and we grew old but we grew together/ we both go off to ours jobs before the sun/ we drive across the world your hand on the wheel/ my hand on your leg as the music drums

we toss and we turn and we wind down our path/ ours are intertwined as we weave/ my yarn loops through yours but it never knots/ in and out, together we knit our dreams

two queens

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two queens sleep side by side/ one is orange, one is black/ sound asleep curled in together/ purring on as their dreams stack

angels hum from near their whiskers/ the softest fur sweetly entangled/ warmth emanates from their fur/ their tails laid out and tangled

they sleep until the sun has faded/ until the candle has burned low/ they stretch and they yawn/ as they wake under the moon’s glow

purple skies

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Who is allowed to paint the sky? Who determined its banners of blue? Who will stop me from splashing in red? To give it a hopeful purple hue.

I hate the blues of the world. The somberness spoils the sun. It hardens the clouds into lumps. Is purple not stardust spun?

Who chose the lights of the morning? Who chased the night into dark? Is day not a shadow of reality? Night is where every dream sparks.

I’ve repainted the sky a violet haze. the reds and blues race to the horizon. They swirl and spin and strum. Ribbons to wrap the world in.

i write and i write to you

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i write to you to share my thoughts/ i write to you to weaken us/ i write to you to bring us alive/ i write to you make it all just

i never thought the wind would carry me/ yet it took me all the way to you/ and now i can’t stop drifting by/ past it all and into the blue

i write and i write and you just don’t understand/ i need to tell you everything i feel/ i yearn to hear your reply/ it’s only your thoughts i want to steal

i built a book for you and i/ but i’ve started to tear out the pages/ i’ve sent you the words to chapter one/ but i’ve been writing it for ages

would you like to read this novel?/ hearing it from this author’s voice?/ or would you burn it as i did yours?/ just this once i’ll give you the choice

letter by letter i’ll send our story/ forewarning, my narrative is not yours/ i see, think, and believe differently/ with this i promise us no cure

the delusions of fall

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i’ve never known fall to be mine/ fall is a blur of hot wind and candle wax/ it’s textbook paper cuts and the courtyards to class/ fall is a copper figure with crispy syntax

fall has always been a trick to me/ i layer up just to feel the sweltering sun/ it’s a melting pot of flannels and sweat/ from green to red but the paint still runs

fall is a lie we all live to love/ we cherish every autumn equinox to come/ pumpkin patches and pies just for them to rot/ as we wait for the depression to make us numb

i am a woman

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i am a woman of distinction/ we are all women of distinction/ we are thoughts, feelings, and opinions/ we are the upholders of future generations

you don’t need to fit a criteria/ your occupation does not matter/ gender roles are all a social construct/ all you need to be is a ladder

a ladder to hold up young girls/ let them know they have a place/ plant seeds of knowledge within/ water them to set the pace

we are all women of distinction/ no two of us are the same/ we rise, we fall everyday/ yet we all still bear a name

the power to live in that name/ or to change it, as you do too/ it does not matter to me/ as long as you claim it as you

i am a woman and i am distinct/ I don’t let the world wash me out/ i have not always been such an anchor/ you too can overcome the drought

i still hurt but you do too

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i owe you an apology/ not for the way i’ve been/ but for the way i was/ for how i waited to let things end

i should have told you earlier/ i shouldn’t have texted you that summer/ i should have let it be as it was/ not awake us from our dead slumber

i never wanted more than a friendship/ i let it all spiral out of control/ i meant to block anything else out/ all of my wasted time you stole

i never saw us as anything more/ and i should have told you from the start/ all i wanted was a friend to tell secrets to/ but even as that we drifted apart

so here i am so sorry/ i made up your wildest dreams/ but for me it was always him/ and i’m sorry for the way it seemed

you wanted more that i could never give/ i never intended for you to believe otherwise/ which is why i cut everything off in february/ for how it looked to everyone else’s eyes

up until spring, i never blamed you/ i blamed all the other girls who whispered/ the tales they put into your ears/ bet they didn’t see it all ending up so blistered

i truly only blame you for spring and after/ the amount of hurt i faced those months/ it still echoes through me, especially in the summer/ and yet it’s felt so good to be so blunt

i hate the way i let you be led on/ a blue dress and a dance was never to happen/ i knew in the back of my mind and the bottom of my heart/ that guilt still makes my vision blacken

it’s been too long to still be hurting/ the anger and sorrow and peace fight for dominance/ i cry in the car and dance in the shower/ for the parts of my life that should no longer be prominent

nobody quite understands so i don’t share my faults/ you blamed me but not for the right things/ i take no blame of what occurred after i set my boundaries/ and it all still lingers in my mind like a loose string

i don’t have an address to send this to anymore/ this is my only hope you’ll read it and know/ i’m afraid to send a apology and start it all back up/ i don’t think i could deal with another hello

lover boy<3

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i love you in the mornings/ and i love you in the nights/ i love you in between the sheets/ and i love you standing in the lights

you’re full of soft lines and hard edges/ the curls at the nape of your neck/ the broadness of your shoulders/ all enough to make me a wreck

You’re the only muse to me/ enough to inspire a lifetime/ together we learn to live and to love/ do you promise to be forever mine?

Growth

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my vision is blackening/ my head is floating in the air/ waiting to be sunk down/ nobody is here to care

catch me as i’m falling/ i ask, scream, shout/ the only response is the wind/ i crash no doubt

I wrote this at a time when I hurt so much but couldn’t let you know because you were to blame. You were hurting me to the point of me screaming in the shower and pulling out my hair. Since ceasing all communication, I’ve begun to sing in the shower and love myself more than you ever could. You taught me about judgment through your faulty actions, so I took that and learned to stop judging so harshly. I’ve grown so much more without you, and I thank god for that. If all I need is to burn what’s left of you, then so be it because I deserve to be able to. I’ve learned to love so much more deeply and live without doubting myself since I’ve stopped talking to you. I’ve finally stopped screaming and crying and pulling. I’ve finally been truly happy.